this post is an email that i received today (subject: The Invitation) from an old friend, one whom i haven't spoken with in some time. it stirred up a little spark in my heart and i think it's worth sharing. enjoy.
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Ok Aimee, I hope that this doesn’t sound too crazy, and that you’ll make it painlessly all the way through...
None of us needs to work a 9-5 to survive. We think we are making a living, and maybe at times we are making a killing, but through it all we are slowly dying, just like everyone else. There is a vicious cycle being perpetuated here that is caused by, as Jack Kerouac said in The Dharma Bums, ‘the general demand that they consume production and therefore have to work for the privilege of consuming all that crap they didn’t really want…general junk you always see a week later in the garbage anyway, all of [it] impersonal in a system of work, produce, consume’. In the book Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk, we are reminded that ‘the things you own end up owning you’. I am proud to say that as far as I know, there is nothing that I own that I could not part with tomorrow if necessary. I am ashamed to say that 11 years ago, I listened to the words of the song ‘Time’ by Pink Floyd, and told myself that that would never be me; that I was young, independent, and going to seize the day; I wouldn’t miss the ‘starting gun’.
I know that I do not ‘need’ a job, do not ‘need’ a car, do not ‘need’ an apartment, television, computer, cellular telephone, new clothes, new shoes, stereo, iPod. I have come to the stark realization that the only reason that I ‘need’ to work is to pay off a rather large student loan debt. I have also realized that as much as it is a burden, that debt is also a security blanket. I can hide behind that debt, use it as an excuse for why I can’t do the things that I really want to do; say that the only reason I’m still living in this material world full of creature comforts is because I am bound by that debt to a job, and as long as I have to be here working, I may as well enjoy it, right? The truth is, I haven’t been very diligent in saving money, or very disciplined in putting my ‘extra’ money into paying down that debt. So I chip away at the edges of it, and it continues to hang over my head like a dark, ominous cloud; it is my ball and chain that confines me to the world of consumerism. The reality is, I can still see the world around me without shirking my responsibility to repay that debt. With a bit of effort, self-discipline, and saving, I can set up a bank account to automatically make my payments each month for a relatively long period of time. While I travel, I can work here and there to support myself; work for food and lodging when necessary, work for money to re-up the account here and there.
So my goal has long been to travel – to see as much of the world as I can before I die. In May of 1997 I traveled to Panama with the Marine Corps for some jungle operations training. It was my first time abroad, and the lush, tropical rainforests of Panama blew my 19-year-old mind away. I spent three months there, during which time I also went to Punta Arenas, Chile for some cold weather training. Despite my extreme dislike for the cold, I saw some breathtaking natural beauty that made quite an impression on me. Since that time, I have traveled outside of the country on exactly three occasions: [...] And I cannot even give an approximation of the thousands of dollars I’ve spent and wasted since my first paycheck from Burger King back in December of 1994.
The dream that I had was to travel the world, but somehow I let myself be led astray by so many other things. I put my dreams on hold to pursue less meaningful ventures. I understand that this is my dream, that those were my mistakes, and that none of this may apply to you. I do not want anyone to go boldly in the direction of MY dreams; I want you to go where your heart guides you, to follow your own dreams – TODAY! But if any of this sounds familiar or appealing, I urge you to strongly consider joining me. Drop what you’re doing (unless you're still cruising around southeast Asia). I have too often told people that I was going to ‘live vicariously’ through them as they went gallivanting across the globe to exotic destinations for varying periods of time. No longer. I have too often looked at a map and said, ‘someday’. No longer. I continue to see my friends swallowed up by jobs, girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses, children, houses, and more, and it worries me that nobody has the balls or ovaries to break themselves free. My favorite quote is from Bob Marley’s ‘Redemption Song’:
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Yet even I was subject to my own mental slavery until about 3pm on Monday, December 21, 2009. I think I finally have my priorities crooked. I suppose it still looks as though I’m putting my dreams on hold, not leaving until the end of next year; but I’m now actively working toward that dream.
This journey is something that I have to do for myself. It is not an escape as I am not running away from my problems or responsibilities; I am eliminating the source of many problems, and finally embracing and accepting a responsibility to myself. It is not a self-righteous mission to ‘save’ anyone from anything; while it is very likely that I will work to help others along the way, it will be for humanitarian or even selfish reasons, not because it is the moral high ground and something to show off to others later. There will be no agenda, no itinerary, no end date, no time that I will be required to be anyplace; as Ziggy Marley so astutely pointed out in ‘Dragonfly’:
Everybody’s worried about time, but I just keep that shit off my mind.
People livin’ on 24-hour clocks, but we’re on a ride that never stops.
If at this point, you are feeling pretty good about this idea, by all means, read on…
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and that's all i'll include. the way i see it, if you're not living your dreams right now, you're probably cheating yourself. go for it. :)
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