what started off in candlelit zen-- prancing and grooving-- seemed to fall from great heights and smash into smithereens, leaving a numbness that i have never known.
the new year's celebration this year was great. novel and meaningful. the clock struck midnight perhaps around #58 of 108 bows. the number 108 signifies the number of defilements one must overcome to reach enlightenment, oh dontcha know. ...so, in the traditional buddhist fashion, each bow was a full-out sun salutation kine... 1. standing, hands pressed together at the sternum, 2. kneel, 3. down on all fours, 4. lower elbows to floor, 5. touch forehead to floor, 6. reverse, and 7. repeat. rhythmic chanting kept the pace. i was one of perhaps 20, worshiping, you might say, in a large circle down in [what reminded me of] fraggle rock. shadows of prayer flags cast on earthen walls. eyes closed and lost in the motions, my mind scanned back through the year and beyond and, by the time 108 rolled around, i was back in the present and feeling better than ever. full peace. the chanting then concluded and melodious beats started drifting in. 
glance at a friend's watch. it was 12:04 and, being westerners and all, the fact that not a single "happy new year!" could be heard amongst the crowd was just not acceptable. mi loca, smilja, grabbed the mic from the dj and said, "hold up. let's rewind. this is how you do it! 10! 9! 8! 7!........ happy new year!!!" with that, the loving spirit caught on. i hugged and kissed as many people as i could get away with and then frolicked the night away.
..... so i'm feeling all jazzed and exuberant about the year ahead. winter vacation ends, school begins. blah, blah. to be honest, though, it was really good to see my kids again, the little buggers. they give me so much love. then comes january 12th. i wake up, turn on the robot, make a pot of coffee, sit down at the table and then read one of the many headlines about the 7.0 earthquake that hit haiti. seriously?
o, dye. i mean, i know, and pretty much everyone i know, knows how much i love haiti... but i now know how deep that love runs in how it has affected me. a real blow. a heaviness that i just can't shake. a reminder of how cruel life can be. anyway, i won't go into it. but i felt/feel helpless in the matter, especially being on the other side of the globe. but it's just not in the cards for me to be there at this time. and i think i finally accept that. heaven knows that they'll still need some support when i do make it there. i'm grateful that those close to me in haiti are ok. i guess, along w/ some monies, i'll just keep sending my love through the vibrations.so there's that and it's friggin' colder than i know how to explain. and i'm still too stubborn to buy a real coat. ha. "it's all about the lay-yers." hehe.
on the positive side (and there are always more +es than -es), i'm still rockin' the yoga & meditation and it's doing it's thang on me...
and as of this sunday, i'll be a certified yoga instructor. and i've already signed up for the advanced course. and i've decided to stick w/ my school for another year & am feelin' decent about that decision. there's talk of a promotion.... i might also get to see some of the most lovely people in my life this year, too. and i am blessed w/ so much each and every day. so, sorry if this has been a whiny post.and spring will come!!! and if it doesn't, i'll hunt down summer someplace reliable... :) full of love, i am.
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